August 11, 2008

Cheating On Trust

by Alex Archer

The effects of infidelity on kids are probably one of the deepest and most long lasting effects of being unfaithful. It can ingrain in children deep trust issues as well as a feeling of confusion. They may blame themselves. It can also cause problems for them down the road in their relationships.

Children may feel a sense of guilt for their parent cheating. Many times children will blame themselves for the problems of their parents because they think that their actions may be the cause of their parents. They can become confused, angry, sad, and distrusting.

Many children get a sense of security from a strong relationship between their parents. Once their mother and father start exhibiting negative behavior towards one another, children may intentionally misbehave as they become insecure about their future. Even the possibility of an affair can be enough to affect the way a child acts.

When an affair occurs, family dynamics also change. Siblings may act out against one another, often aggressively; and emotional detachment between family members is certain. Brothers and sisters may not trust one another, and they may also blame each other for what is going on.

Being unfaithful can create a very cold home life. Both parents can begin to become fake to try and cover up for their children's sakes but this doesn't work. All it does is create more stress for everyone. The cause of all this is to create a lack of a loving environment for the children involved.

Many children whose parents have been unfaithful go on in life to have problems in relationships of their own. They may have ingrained feelings of mistrust and jealousy, which can affect their faith in their partner. They also may believe they are destined to suffer the same consequences as their parents.

Infidelity can also cause a relationship break between the parent and the child. They may feel anger towards them because they feel as if the parent did this to them, abandoned them. The wounds may heal but more than likely they will never completely heal. The child, even into adulthood, will always remember what happened and wonder.

Even in cases where a couple decides to move past an affair and avoid divorce, their children can still suffer emotional and psychological damage. Reminders and memories of the affair may always loom large, and the children may watch constantly for signs that infidelity may happen once again. It may not be a question of if, but when.

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