August 11, 2008
Don't Compete With Him if You Want to be Complete With Him!
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.
This can be a real problem in relationships between people who are both ambitious and competitive. By the time you notice it, it may have already driven a wedge between you and him. Rori Raye describes "boy energy" as that aggressive approach that women use to achieve great things. This 'boy energy' can completely wreck your relationship. It is important to avoid letting this happen by paying attention to the warning signs.
When he starts to pull away from you, avoiding activities that involve competition, you can be sure that there is a problem. This could be as simple as a card game with friends at a dinner party, or even something as harmless as the jog you take together in the evening. If he begs off activities like this, chances are that something is up.
There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can't keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.
In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.
Once you become aware that there is a problem, you need to start focusing on the solution. Start by understanding why you feel a need to compete with him. You see, most of the time when women are insecure, we seek affirmation through praise. If you were really 100% secure, you would be offering support and praise to him instead of seeking it for yourself.
If you take this relationship advice to heart as soon as you realize that there is a rift in your relationship, you stand a chance of resolving these issues. By putting yourself in his shoes, you can better understand the problem. Competition is a natural part of life, but it should not be a part of your love life! By saving your competitive energy for when it counts, and offering him the love, acceptance, and respect he deserves, you can turn your competitive relationship into one of mutual support.
Tags: public speaking techniques, jokes for public speaking, public speaking examples, public speaking topics, public speaking tips, fear of public speaking














